Friends

Define a real friend? We meet people through our lives right? We have those people who stay around for a lifetime and we have those who are here for a season or a reason. I never had a best friend(well actually my sister was my best friend) I was always the girl who just fit in with a girl and her group of friends. I was always got close with that one girl but her friends always either seem to have a slight problem with me and after a while I assumed they were just jealous. LOL! I was never the “territorial” type of friend I accepted everyone and thought everyone would just accept me. I would do the most for my friends like giving my whole check to help them pay their rent. Watching their kids, letting them borrow money, being there to listen when they had problems, always ready for whatever, always understanding, loving and caring. Even after picking up on the signs I would ignore them and give them the benefit of the doubt. But I learned the hard way about “friends”. Not everyone is your friend. Some people aren’t here to be a friend they could be here for the benefits and what they can use you for whether it’s helping them in many different ways or just for the popularity. Now, I’m not saying all people are like this because there is great people out who make great friends. I just know what to look out for when it comes to defining a real friend.

Ask yourself What is a great friend?

You have to be a great friend in order to know what a great friend is.

Are you a great friend? If not you need to work on yourself.

Don’t be judgements be understanding. Watch out for words like “oh you better than me because I would of…”

Be honest and be real. Sometimes the truth hurts but how can you get upset with someone being real and honest with you.

Be loyal. Support your friend. If you can be loyal to your boyfriend be loyal to your friend. Your friend should always be there for you when your boyfriend isn’t. But make sure your getting the same loyalty in return.

Motivate your friend and be encouraging. Who wants to be around someone who is negative all the time and never has nothing nice to say and just messes up the whole mood.

Be a good listener. Do not always make it about yourself. When they need a ear just listen but make sure when you need an ear they listen.

Help when you can but do not over extend yourself.

Be a good listener. Do not always make it about yourself. When they need a ear just listen but make sure when you need an ear they listen.

Never be in competition with your friend

Don’t be jealous if they seem to be doing more than you. You have to do more for yourself and don’t expect any handouts

If your in business then separate your business from your friendship. Or just don’t do business with friends.

Work through conflicts. If you notice after an argument they say the truth about how they really feel. That’s not your friend! If they use social media and an outlet instead of coming to you. That’s not your friend! If u catch the indirect comments. That’s not your friend!

The type of energy you put out in the universe is the type of energy you get back.

Tips for moving on after a break up.

 

A break up can be very heartbreaking especially when you love hard and you’ve tried your best to make it work with the person you love. I recently went through a break up and it hit me hard because I thought we would grow old together. We loved but we also had many fights and this last fight escalated to far I was forced to let go. My heart sunk into my stomach and I cried, I became embarrassed and depressed. I blamed myself for failing my children and not being able to raise them in a two parent home. Then I realized everything happens for a reason and just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it was fault and it does not mean I failed as a person and a mother. I had to really get myself together. I still had to live life and be a mother to my kids. I had to accept it for what it was, let go and start to heal. I WANTED TO BE HAPPY AGAIN!!

STOP BLAMING YOURSELF.

  • TALK TO A CLOSE FRIEND.
  • LET YOUR BODY FEEL WHATEVER ITS GOING THROUGH.
  • CRY IT OUT.
  • GIVE YOURSELF A DAY TO SOB BUT ONCE THAT DAY IS UP, THATS IT! DO NOT CONTINUE TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
  • LOVE YOURSELF.
  • REMOVE EVERY MEMORY THAT REMINDS YOU OF THEM.
  • DO NOT FOLLOW EACH OTHER ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
  • BE CORDIAL FOR THE CHILD(ren) ONLY.
  • FORGIVE.
  • TALK TO GOD.
  • STAY POSITIVE.
  • STAY BUSY.
  • PRAY HARD.

 

ITS A HEALING PROCESS AND SOME DAYS YOU MIGHT FEEL LIKE BREAKING DOWN AND IT WILL GET TOUGH BUT IT WILL ALWAY BECOME EASIER TO DEAL WITH. ! STAND STRONG AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO HEAL!

-Sincerely Shyann

I had to be selfish!

I have alway been the one to do more for others than I’ve done for myself, it’s was plenty of times I’ve gotten frustrated with myself because I was so quick to offer help when I needed help myself. I was so quick to loving others unconditionally without loving myself first. I bit off way more than I could chew just because I wanted others to see the good in me and to feel appreciated because I knew what it felt like when I needed help and I had no one. I went on handling more than I could handle out of fear I would be blamed for helping them fall. I was literally bending over backwards for friends and family just to be accepted but then feeling unappreciated. Then I finally just got fed up because every time I needed help NOBODY was around. I learned a deep lesson just a few days ago and it helped me realize in the end all of have is myself. I have to love myself, take care of myself and do for myself. I had to be okay with saying NO. I had to be okay with the thought of being selfish but in a good way. I had to finally step up and take care of me first and I’m okay with being selfish.

-SINCERELY SHYANN